1) every labour is different.
No one can tell you what to expect from labour because everyone is different. I was told that my labour pains would be in my back because baby was back to back but all of my pains were in my stomach.
2) it hurts.
Everyone told me that contractions don't hurt but the "ring of fire" when you're pushing does. I never felt the ring of fire because I was so focused on getting Isla out but my contractions honestly felt like I was dying.
3) you don't always get labour signs.
I had no idea I was going to go into labour the day I did, it was actually one of the only days I hadn't had "labour signs".
4) it's scary.
You've never experienced anything like it and it hurts like hell, you'll honestly for a minute think you're going to die.
5) you CAN do it.
Leading on from my last point, there will be times (probably mid contraction) that you think "can I just have a c section?!" Because you don't think you can take anymore pain, but you're stronger than you think and you CAN do it.
6) you aren't a failure if you need help.
Some people need a c section, some people need assisted delivery and some people push the baby out in the car on the way to hospital. However you do it, you did it all the same. You haven't failed a baby or anyone else by needing help sometimes your body just doesn't work how it should, sometimes your baby just needs to come quicker than you body can go and sometimes it's safer if you have help.
7) you will forget the pain once your baby is here.
I always thought people were lying when they said it but they weren't. You forget the pain of labour after baby comes because you're so consumed with emotions about the new arrival and your lady bits will be so tender that you forget contractions and the ring of fire - especially if you tear or having an episiotomy! And then after a few weeks you'll even forget the pain in your lady bits (even tear/episiotomy pain!) after a few weeks when you've healed.
8) you don't always feel that rush of love that they show on TV.
Labour is tiring whether it's 50 minutes long or 5 days long. Once that baby is out you don't have to feel a rush of love, it's ok to feel tired and be a little pre occupied by what you've just experienced.
9) you can't tell your birth partner what sort of support you'll want before the big event.
I expected to want hugs and massages but in reality I wanted to be left alone I didn't want anyone to touch me at all. I was consumed by the pain and wanted to focus on "surviving".
10) you'll know what to do.
Try and keep a clear head and not panic, your body knows what to do - just go with it. I never went to antenatal classes, I never practiced breathing techniques or birthing positions but I was actually complemented on how good my breathing technique was and they said "you obviously listened in your antenatal classes" (awkward!). When I was having contractions at home my body knew what position it wanted to be in (bending over if any of you are wondering) and when I was strapped down to be monitored and couldn't work the pain was more intense but my body took over and made me breathe the pain away and it worked. The gas and air was taken off me almost as soon as I got to delivery and then in theatre they wouldn't give it to me because I needed to focus on pushing, that means I did almost my entire labour without pain relief - I promise you the breathing techniques must have worked!
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